Having A Good Heart

By Melissa Hargrave,
Correspondent

KAPLAN — This holiday season, Kaplan City Marshal Ruby Thibeaux is helping to keep siblings together while teaching family values to seven foster children. Thibeaux opens her doors year round to foster children of all ages, creating a lasting impact that is even more memorable at Christmas.
Ruby, with the loving support of her spouse Nolan Thibeaux, has fostered 39 children and teens since April of 2014. They have one daughter of their own, and two grandchildren, none of which live at home. Thibeaux explains what guided them to become foster parents.
“I always wanted a big family because I came from a big family, but I never had one. I often thought about fostering, but I didn’t think I was rich enough or had all the qualities to be a foster parent, so I never checked into it. I helped with everyone else’s kids, with my nieces and my nephews, or babysit for other mothers. In mid-2013, my niece and nephew were taken into OCS custody and needed someone to take care of them, so we became kinship. That is what led us to become foster parents.”
Each foster home is allowed a maximum of eight foster children at one time. Of those eight, only two can be under the age of twenty-four months. Since Thibeaux has a large five bedroom house, they specialize in accepting groups of children who are siblings. On average a child spends a total of nine months with the Thibeauxs, some more or less depending on the situation. It can be difficult to say good-bye to a child after that length of time. “When you allow them to call you mom, it attaches their living here to your heart; but when you let them say Nanny, you know you’ll be letting them go one day. We were once in the process of adopting a little boy, when the mother came back eleven days before the adoption. We felt it was best to give his mom a second chance, so we never thought about adopting again after that.”
For Ruby, the children she fosters hold a special place in her life. “We try to make the kids feel just as special as everybody else. You want them to feel the same, and not left out. I call them my honorary children because I am honored to have them and they are honored to be here. They do get very spoiled,” She chuckles, “We play a lot of board games; we try to do things together. We like to travel; it might not be big trips, we just take little short trips to give us something to do. It gives them something they have never done, because most of these children don’t have the opportunity to go places. So, we try to make sure they’ve seen something or done something that they never had before, in order for them to remember that they are very special.”
The Thibeauxs give their honorary children the best experience they can offer while under their care. They also instill morals into their daily lives. Children and teens are taught the values of self care, chores, education, respect, and equality. “The goal is to teach them the skills they need in order to survive. I want to make sure that when these children leave this home, they know what a home is supposed to be like.”
Every child comes with a different story, from various backgrounds, ages, and races. There is often an adjustment period as everyone within the home learns each other. Ruby has seen many sad cases, but she has also witnessed success. “Wyatt was my foster baby. I got him in January. We got Wyatt back to his mom in October. I was very hard on her, and told her how important he was. I try to keep the mommas very informed, and tell them how precious their children are along the way. The goal is to get the child back with mom and dad. Most cases end that way, but not all. I have two girls right now who are up for adoption.”
Foster parents receive no additional funding for Christmas, which can make it quite difficult for a family to provide gifts under the tree for everyone. Ruby, however, saves for this event year round! She ensures that all children have presents to open, while teaching the kids that it isn’t about quantity of the gifts but the quality of giving and the warmth of family togetherness.
When the Thibeauxs realized that they were short three bikes for Christmas this year, they weren’t certain what to do. By a Christmas miracle, the Kiwanis Club heard about their plight and donated three bicycles along with gift cards to purchase helmets! Ruby says, “I am grateful for the support of the community.”
“I ask myself why I waited so long to do fostering,” Thibeaux comments, “because it was something I always wanted to do. And now, I would never trade it. I would tell anybody that it’s worth every minute. It is hard to let go, especially to your first foster child, but then you realize what you have done for these children. I keep in contact with all my foster children. We visit them, or they visit here. We talk on the phone, we FaceTime. We have never lost them; we keep the lines of communication open.”
Foster parents are greatly needed. There is especially a shortage of homes willing to accept teenagers. Certification to become a foster parent can be completed in as little as eight classes spread out over four consecutive Saturdays. For more information about becoming a foster parent, contact the Department of Child and Family Services at 337-262-5970 or visit their website at http://www.dss.state.la.us/